Online dating pua

Online Dating Tips: PUADatabase Style. If you are interested in finding out what online dating has to offer, then here are seven killer tips that you might find useful on your journey to finding the perfect woman for you. 1. Get into the right mindset. Online dating tips to attract pretty women! no-js img.lazyload { display: none; } figure.wp-block-image img.lazyloading { min-width: 150px; } .lazyload, .lazyloading { opacity: 0; } .lazyloaded { opacity: 1 ... 42 Openers to Use on Girls When Online Dating by Brandon Cohen 6 years ago Facebook. Twitter. Reddit. FlipBoard. Shutterstock. In the world of dating apps/websites, there’s so much competition out there for cute girls, your opening line can make or break whether she will engage. How many times have you gotten matched with a PYT, but when you ... Once. Answer your own online dating message online dating with best online dating to download the first message. Pua online dating sites Through all that are good online dating; roosh v; 2 next week chasing after finishing your articles. My favorite things about. Then. Find love systems! Oftentimes, send 5 pof match. Also a creative online ... The Virtual Dating Assistants (ViDA) gives a great example of the right way to give praise: “Wow… those eyes.That fur. How long have you two been together? Is he jealous of newcomers?” In a funny first message, the online dater shows interest in Michaela’s pictures, pays a compliment to her dog, asks a solid question, and makes a flirtatious suggestion. Online dating pua - Is the number one destination for online dating with more dates than any other dating or personals site. Register and search over 40 million singles: chat. Find single man in the US with mutual relations. Looking for novel in all the wrong places? Now, try the right place. Welcome To PUA Tips We have put together a great variety of dating advice, blogs, tips, courses, and videos specifically for you to help you improve your current relationship, or your future one. A lot of sites will just try and pitch you various courses or affiliate programs to make some money, but we filter...Read More » Online Dating Profile Examples << Return to Main Page —or— Go to Next Page: Writing Messages >> Here are a few examples of unique online dating profiles. If you wish to understand the concepts behind these examples, please read our tips for writing your online profile. Example 1: Light-Hearted and Silly One of the world's leading online dating experts, Scott Valdez founded Virtual Dating Assistants in 2009 and has helped thousands of men (and women) find their ideal match online. His team of highly-trained professionals write your profile, touch up your photos, handle all of your messaging, and get you dates you’re guaranteed to like. The Best Online Dating Openers Trending News: We Found The Best Online Dating Openers. Ian Lang. ... so much so that probably 80% of PUA literature is dedicated to “openers.” You only get one ...

Dating Advice

2010.09.27 21:54 kissmeniko Dating Advice

Share your favorite tips, ask for advice, and encourage others about anything dating.
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2012.10.03 05:15 elbowstoopointy OKCupid message fails and other PUA grossness

"better change that profile pic, that outfit makes you look like an old lady." If you've been on OKCupid or another dating site for longer than 24 hours, odds are you have one of these gems in your inbox. Share your screenshots (with usernames blurred please) so that we can all commiserate in the pain of mean, rude, offensive, and all around terrible online dating site messages.
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2009.07.12 23:14 sensical socialskills

A place to share your favorite social skills tips, ask for advice, or offer encouragement to others on their social skills journey. Welcome aboard!
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2020.09.24 09:23 sykospark Burbank's Plan for Housing

(Taken from City of Burbank's FB)
The City invites you to participate in the first (of 2) online community workshops for the Housing Element, the City's 8-year plan for housing. Learn about the Housing Element, including a preview of the Housing Sites analysis and Environmental Justice considerations. There will be opportunities to ask questions and provide your input on Burbank's housing needs. Residents can watch live on Spectrum Cable 6 or AT&T Channel 99 and on The Burbank Channel YouTube page. Workshop participants will even be entered in a raffle for a chance to win gift cards to local Burbank eateries.
Date: 10/3/2020 at 11:00 AM To learn more and to virtually attend visit: www.burbankhousingelement.com
submitted by sykospark to burbank [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 01:22 losangeleslioness Info received from EDD rep - PUA/LWA/Pending status/ID Verification.

Background: PUA from March 2020, applied first day PUA became available (late April 2020). Then, stuck in the drama of “pending” status for several weeks and trying to reach an actual EDD “specialist” to fix that. Then, the BofA EDD debit card debacle.... I didn’t access the funds until early June.
But everything had been smooth since then. Until I certified 9/6 Sunday like usual. But, my claim has been “pending” since then.
Called 9/8 - I missed the “Identity Verification” notification (text & U.S. mail), just my luck that EDD wouldn’t use email to notify me lol. After like 3 hours and 3 diff reps - I was able to speak with someone who sent a link to my UI account so that I was able to upload the required documentation. I sent in a copy of my CADL and a copy of my “Social Security Statement” which is super easy to obtain online - I uploaded everything the same day from my iPhone.
EDD has it marked as received and waiting to be verified for 9/8.
Then, conflicting information. One EDD rep says “up to 16 weeks” for identity verification, another says only a supervisor can give out a date and they’re busy. EDD’s website says 10 days (EDD uses calendar days vs. business days, typically). So who really knows? I just know I’m broke..
Today, 9/22 still haven’t received any funds (PUA + LWA). I call, eventually got in the que - no specialists though - they’re working on backlog. I got this rep who was doing his best to help and he came off empathetic without overdoing it. He couldn’t do much but he did tell me that a coworker of his who’s in the “identity verification” department, told him that the staff is verifying identity docs much faster because of the 2 weeks to focus solely on backlog and ID Verification. They are working in order by month received. And, it’s taking only a couple of days to clear out 2 months of verifications. 2 days ago the department was working on July. The rep then told me that he believes my claim will be verified in the next couple of days (September batch). He said that the department is sometimes bypassing sending text notifications about ID verification status and that the funds would just be there. So don’t rely on text notifications from EDD.
I dunno. I want to believe him. He definitely eased my mind and lowered my stress level, even if it’s not true lol... I hope that it is true 🙃

EDDCOVIDWOES

submitted by losangeleslioness to Edd [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 23:43 prettythicccc Disqualified over utility bill. pending hearing wtf ANY ADVISE THAT CAN GIVE ME HOPE

Applied in April. actually knew nothing about the PUA until August, i dont watch tv.
they send me a $0 paper in April so I thought it meant I didnt qualify. i left it alone.
Reopened on advise of my gain worker.
I fully qualify I know I do.
ID verification comes thru text. no letter until 11 days after the mail date on the letter, like really?
thank god I got the text. I sent ID copy, and the first page of my actual edison bill. with the form i printed.
they received docs on 9/11 and disqualified me on 9/15 for every week. I have not ever been paid one time.
i have called since august so many times to make sure im doing it right.
i got a notification on UI online, eligibility interview because of why i had to leave my job. no worries I had good cause, not worried about it. had the interview the 17th, my bday, went really good, cleared that issue up. she then tells me why i got the DQ. because i didnt include all pages of my bill.
I HAD TO APPEAL EVEN AFTER IMMEDIATELY SENDING ALL MY BILL, I DOWNLOADED IT, IT WAS NOT HARD TO DO.
they are still telling me I have to do the hearing over this. over the utility bill.
I sent my appeal, with all documents AGAIN.
I have faxed them into Ui as well. they have everything they need. why is this happening???
I am a single mom. 4 kids. my kids have been thru so much already and i was finally able to return to work after it all, and only needed to change my employment type since my company stopped doing resets and started sanitizing the store all day. GREAT PAY BTW i really wish i didnt have CTS. spraying a spray bottle for 9 hrs a day 7 days a week, i didnt make it very long. all i wanted to do was work for another reset company, but everybody made cuts.. so i applied for ui like my GAIN worker suggested..
IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS :(
submitted by prettythicccc to Edd [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 22:12 TrollD4d My Thoughts On Rebooting [EXTREMELY LONG POST] - From TheUnderdog, in Your Brain Rebalanced Forum

It's been a while since I made a thread like this.
I've learned quite a few things in the last few months. So I'm going to share them with you guys.
Some of the ideas come from my own personal experience, but many of them originated from discussions with the people mentioned above. I love you guys.
You might disagree with a lot of things I'm going to say.
That's fine.
This is just my opinion, my thoughts, as the title says.
By the way, I have already said all these things through various posts, so if you've been following me lately, there is nothing new here.
There are some triggers in this post, so I apologize in advance for them. I do think they are important to make some of my points, otherwise I wouldn't include them.
Let's get started...
Porn Addiction is Being Severely Underestimated
How do I know this?
Because most people in the community believe that in order to get rid of this addiction, all they have to do is keep trying over and over again, until eventually things will just 'click' and their brains will finally become rebooted.
Very few are treating this as a true addiction. They just see it as a habit they want to break.
This is evidenced by the stubborness of many, relying purely on willpower for months, only to constantly reset their counters and beat themselves up for not making any progress.
Most people don't realize how incredibly difficult it is to completely remove artificial stimulation (of any kind) for the rest of their lives. We're talking about years and years of brain conditioning here.
Many of us here have been in this community since 2010 and we're still struggling in one way or another. That is almost 4 years of trying to quit for good. 4 years of trying to get to 100 days or whatever. 4 years of wanting to be the next GABE.
We're dealing with some powerful stuff here, but it is not treated seriously enough, probably because it's widely accepted by society and is not a substance like heroine or cocaine.
I cringe when people relapse, reset their counters, and proclaim "This is it, I've had enough, I'm going to do it this time"...
Stop kidding yourself.
This is an addiction that has to be attacked from many different angles. You need a full arsenal of tools and strategies, as well as a proper mindset.
Willpower alone won't do shit.
Abstinence is NOT Recovery
What people usually try to do is go as many days clean as they can.
That's all they do.
That's all their goal.
They achieve a certain amount of days, then for whatever reason they relapse, so they start over and repeat.
That is abstaining. That is not recovering.
It is extremely common for people to achieve a certain milestone, such as 30, 90, or 100 days, relapse a few days later, and then find themselves unable to get momentum again. They go back to the beginning and they feel like they lost all their progress from their run.
There is a constant frustration for lack of progress. People are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, trying the same thing over and over again without success.
This is because very few are addressing the real roots of their problems. Very few.
Everyone is focused on how many days they have managed and if their symptoms are either present or gone. They judge their progress by measuring dick hardness, spontaneous erections and morning woods.
They are "trying to quit porn" so that they can "get rid of their ED".
So they abstain for as long as they can, hoping that this can cure their symptoms.
Completely wrong approach.
If they don't see ED improvements, they get discouraged.
If they see ED improvements, then maybe a porn session or two won't hurt, right?
If there is no woman around, they justify watching a couple of times. After all, they are not having sex anytime soon, so whats the point?
They delay dating until their ED is cured or they have managed to go 100 days. But they never achieve this in the first place precisely because of this incorrect mentality.
The same applies to other symptoms such as social anxiety, energy levels, motivation, etc.
They try to quit porn, so that the symptoms can go away, and so they can finally live life.
People are focusing on the wrong things.
They are not changing the way they think.
They are not changing the way they live.
They are not changing the way they view sex and women.
They are just trying not to masturbate, while everything else remains the same.
That, my friends, is abstinence, not recovery.
The Foundation of a Proper Reboot
Porn addiction is not the cause of your shitty life.
Read that again.
Of course, it's difficult to improve your life when you're having intense porn sessions every single day that drain your energy and make you a zombie. But porn is not the reason your life sucks.
Please, this is very important to understand, you have to stop blaming porn for your problems.
This mentality of "life awaits me after recovery" is destructive.
Porn is not the reason you're a procrastinator. Porn is not the reason you're depressed. Porn is not the reason you're lonely. Porn is not the reason you haven't been able to lose weight or gain muscle.
Porn is the symptom.
You watch porn to escape reality. You watch porn to manage your emotions. You watch porn because you're bored, lonely, stressed, depressed, angry, isolated. You watch porn to feel good for a moment, to replace uncomfortable emotions and situations in your life.
Here's how you get rid of this addiction:
You don't focus on quitting porn so you can finally get to live life after you're recovered.
You focus on learning how to live, how to manage your emotions, how to change the way you think and view the world.
You put all your energy into building the life you want.
This will naturally lead your mind away from porn.
Success is not measured by how many clean days you've managed.
It's measured by how much your life has improved since you started rebooting.
This is what you need to do (credit to RecoveryNation):
Step #1: Write a life vision for yourself
How do you envision your life a few weeks, months, or years from now?
Spend a whole day (or week) thinking about this.
Don't say "I don't know what to do with my life".
Are you telling me you have no clue what you want in any of the following areas: study, work, family, friends, hobbies, health, etc?
Even if you're not sure, you need to give your life some direction.
This is by far the most important part of recovering from pornography addiction.
Write like crazy. Write many pages if you want. Make the biggest post you've ever done in your journal talking about how you envision your future life.
This life vision will be the foundation of your reboot.
This is what you will focus on 100% from now on.
Close your eyes. Visualize it. Write it down.
If you don't know what you want in life, then this is actually a more serious issue than porn addiction itself.
Like I said, spend a whole week if you need to.
Brainstorm.
Ask for advice.
Take a notebook and go to a park.
Inspire yourself.
This is the beginning of your recovery.
Take it seriously.
Step #2: Give urgency to your life vision
Ok, now you know what you want in life. Even if you're still unsure in some areas, such as not knowing what to study, that's ok. At least you can give your life some direction for the moment. This is very important. You need to give your life direction. You need to move towards something.
Here's the problem. Many of us know what we want, but we keep delaying it. We're experts at delaying goals. We wait until New Years, or the beginning of a month, or until circumstances get better.
So this is what you're going to do now:
You're going to give urgency to your life vision.
Write down why you ABSOLUTELY MUST start working on it right now.
Make another huge post or journal entry about it.
Let's suppose you're 27 and you have no job, no car, still live with your parents, and spend most of the day playing video games. Why in the world would you wait more time before starting to do something about it? This is urgent bro. You're fucking 27!
Or maybe you've never had a girlfriend in your life before. Well, what are you waiting for? Go buy some nice clothes, start going out more frequently, make mistakes, get rejected, ask women on dates. Start getting some experience NOW.
You have back pain? Start working on it. Don't wait. The more you wait the worse it gets. Start doing yoga or swimming. Move your hips and back constantly every day.
Write down reasons why you must start pursuing your life vision right now.
You have to stop living like this.
This is urgent.
This is high priority.
We must convince ourselves that change is imminent.
It's very important.
A life vision is no good if you have no urgency.
You'll just keep delaying it. Waiting for circumstances to improve. Waiting for motivation to arrive. Waiting for the beginning of new year.
Create urgency.
Step #3: Develop an indestructible belief in yourself
One of the main reasons we quit goals is because deep inside we don't believe we're actually able to do it.
When successful people like Arnold Schwarzenegger decide they want to achieve something, they become completely obsessed about it. They have an indestructible belief that they will achieve it.
They are not affected by circumstances. They create results in their head before they even get them.
This is what you have to do if you want to accomplish anything.
For example, let's say you want to learn how to play guitar. And you have the urgency to do it, because you know it takes time, so the sooner you start the better. You have to start now.
However, after a few days of learning the basics, you start losing motivation and becoming discouraged. You realize that playing guitar is not easy at all. You feel overwhelmed by how much practice you need to put into it. You start doubting yourself and thinking "There's no way I'll ever become a great guitar player and form my own band". Friends tell you things like "Dude, you should've started years ago. All great guitarists started when they were young".
So you quit.
This is a result of a weak belief in yourself. You don't believe you have the potential to become a good guitarist. Which is obviously completely false. We as humans have unlimited potential.
Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't think like this.
Look at what he said:
How many times have you heard 'You can't do this', 'You can't do that', 'It's never been done before'. I love it when someone says ' No one has ever done this before', because when I do it, that means I'm the first person that's ever done it!
This is how we should think when we set up to do anything in life.
Uncertainty is what kills people. Not knowing if they're able to achieve it.
We need to brainwash ourselves every day into believing that we WILL do it NO MATTER WHAT.
All of these steps are equally important.
Do not skip them.
They are the foundation of your reboot.
They make rebooting so much easier. Your mind will be completely focused on what you want in life. You will be fixing the root of all your problems.
The secret of change is to focus all your energy not fighting the old, but on building the new.
Stop making posts complaining about your shitty life. Stop making posts saying how you're sick of being addicted to porn. Stop talking about porn altogether.
Instead, transform your journal into a self-improvement journal, focused 100% on moving towards the life you want.
"Forget" about porn.
This is basic rebooting stuff, yet many people are constantly breaking this rule. They write about porn cravings, morning woods, spontaneous erections, what day they're on, how much they struggled to abstain, how they can't wait to reach 90 days, etc.
When you consistently focus 100% on building the life you want, your mind will naturally move away from porn. You will also lessen the void left by quitting porn, which is very real.
Many people quit porn only to find themselves in this life emptiness that is very hard to handle. Then they go back to porn precisely because this void is too much for them.
Focusing on your life vision is a superior rebooting approach.
Relapses aren't that discouraging if you're actually improving your life. Ironically, you will notice that the more you focus on what you want, the less frequently you will relapse.
It's important that you think in terms of life vision and pursuing your dreams, not in terms of "I have to get busy and fill my life with activities so that I don't watch porn". This is something you're doing for yourself.
Stop ranting about porn.
This journey is about your LIFE.
Focus on that and the porn will go away.
Managing Your Emotional Life
Ok, let's keep going.
This is mistake #1 from my post The TOP 3 Fatal Mistakes Rebooters Make.
If you haven't read it yet, I highly suggest you do it after you finish reading this thread.
I want to talk about it again because it really is important.
Porn addiction is much more than just getting cravings and relapsing.
One of the reasons we become addicted is because of our inability to manage our emotional lives.
You have to remind yourself that quitting porn is about growing up and becoming a much more mature person.
It's much more than "I want to quit porn so I can cure ED and have plenty of sex with women!".
Much more than that.
We've been using porn for years as a method of handling our emotions.
We need to stop hiding away from uncomfortable life situations. We need to stop using porn in order to escape from reality.
We must learn how to handle life and emotions without the need of porn.
I'm going to quote Recovery Nation here:
"The second common trap that people fall into when transitioning from compulsions to recovery (or from any emotionally intense behavior to another) is their perception involving the emptiness phase of a healthy transition. To understand this, let's take a brief look at the broader addictive process in a person's life. In most addictions, the person has come to depend on their addictive behavior to manage their emotional state. The longer this person relies on such patterns, the more intense and ingrained this pattern becomes. Now, this is an extremely brief synopsis, with many additional issues to be discussed later in the workshop, but the point is: without the ingrained addiction, they are left with an emotional void that is very real. And very uncomfortable. The trap is in seeing this void as proof that their addiction was a natural, necessary entity in their life. They begin to feel an emotional emptiness...no urges...no pleasure...no anything. And they assume that something is wrong. That they need their addiction in order to feel normal. And here comes the porn, or the masturbation, or the affairs. And then, right on cue...here comes the excitement and pleasure and passion. Along with the guilt and shame and depression. But it doesn't matter. They would rather feel all of the emotions, than to feel nothing at all. And so, relapse occurs.
I remember thinking many times throughout my own struggles that I would rather experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows than to ever take a medication that would dim my emotions. I never feared feeling bad. I never feared the chaos that was my life. Not the misery, nor the pain. I cherished my emotional extremes as I believed that it was my ability to experience such extremes that made me who I was. My only fear was to feel nothing at all. This is common with many people who struggle with addictive behavior. Even those who state that they drink or use drugs or otherwise act out in an effort to "numb the pain" of past abuse, overwhelming stress, etc., are not completely accurate. They drink, use or otherwise act out to shift the emotions that they are experiencing — not to dull them.
The point to this is simple. To someone used to experiencing the extremes of the emotional experience — and suffering from true compulsive behavior is to experience emotions to their extreme — the emptiness that comes with a transitional ending can be overwhelming. The blandness, the void that is created when eliminating the behavioral patterns that managed the majority of your emotions is like removing your soul. You no longer feel "normal". You feel as if there is something wrong inside of you; like you are broken somehow. You might even feel that, without these compulsive behaviors, life isn't even worth living. That it is these behaviors that made you special. So, inevitably, you go back to acting out because even the potential negative emotional consequences of your behavior (guilt, shame, failure, loneliness, etc.) are better than to have no emotions at all."
and
"A second common motivator in recovery is the hitting of 'rock bottom' or, in realistic terms, hitting the point where the pain of the addiction can no longer be numbed by the addiction itself. When the emotional pain of the addiction's consequences have grown too great, the motivation to end the addiction kicks in as the addiction is no longer capable of serving its purpose. Although this is a significantly more powerful motivator than the first, it too, is ultimately doomed for failure in long-term recovery. Or, more accurately, it is doomed for a long-term recovery/relapse cycle.
What happens is this: when the emotional pain becomes too great to temporarily manage with compulsive behaviors, the decision to recover provides an intense emotional boost that helps to manage that pain. The person feels good. That feeling may last for weeks, it may last for months. But eventually, inevitably, the emotional intensity that came with the commitment to recover wanes, and the person finds themself, once again, lacking the ability to manage their emotional life. A return to the addiction (or another addiction) is the only emotional management strategy that they have. This, followed by a re-commitment to recovery...followed by another relapse...followed by, well, you get the idea. The cycle will not end until the motivation for ending it has changed.
Those who are motivated by a desire to end the pain of their addiction fare much better than those who are recovering for the sake of others. Such individuals can generate sustained, long-term recovery efforts. However, in order to make a true transition to health, the key will be found in their ability to move past the initial stages of recovery and begin to adopt healthy life management skills that will allow them to achieve emotional maturity.
So, in preparing your road to recovery, you will need to prepare yourself for a time when you might feel empty inside. It will come after the euphoria of beginning your recovery, and it will come after you have put an end to your desire to continue your life the way that it is. This period may last a few days, it may last a few weeks. Rarely, will it ever last longer than that. And in those few weeks, your goal will be to recognize this emptiness, and begin to fill it with the values and the dreams that you believe in."
We need to understand that one of the reasons we relapse is because we're pussies that can't handle negative emotions.
We use porn as medication. We use porn to hide away from life. We use porn to temporarily relief anxiety, stress, loneliness, boredom, anger, etc.
Once again, if you haven't read The TOP 3 Fatal Mistakes Rebooters Make, you should read it later on.
Learn how to manage your emotions without using porn and you will be achieving long term success.
Embrace all your emotions, negative or positive.
By the way, Recovery Nation is fucking awesome.
I highly recommend you check it out.
Readjusting Your Sexual Expectations
This is by far one of the most difficult things to do.
When you quit porn, you're not just saying good bye to artificial stimulation.
You're leaving behind the world of "never ending flow of hot chicks with big tits and round asses".
Real life is nothing like that.
We've been spoiled by porn. We believe that we should be out there having lots of sex with different women. We believe that this is the key to happiness and fulfillment.
The problem is that it is incredibly difficult and unrealistic to "fuck hot chicks on a regular basis".
There's nothing particularly wrong with having that goal, but you have to be willing to take some MASSIVE action. You have to go through hundreds of rejections. You need to have a lot of balls. You must do what 99.9% of men are incredibly afraid to do.
How many people here are doing what it takes to have the kind of sexual life we all dream about?
Very few, if any.
The only guy in the forum who was brave enough to do it is ssk08.
The rest of us are living in a dream world.
We see these super hot chicks on tight dresses and we hope that maybe someday we might be able to have sex with them. We read books about seduction. We visit PUA forums. We watch videos on YouTube of guys approaching girls. We make theories and discuss them online.
But we aren't doing shit about it.
It's all just a dream. An idea we have in our minds. Something we hope someday we will do.
Here's how most people get laid in real life:
A guy meets a girl he finds attractive, so he asks her out. They get to know each other. Then they continue to go out and form some sort of relationship. Then after some months the relationship either becomes serious or falls apart.
That's the real world.
You have to accept that, unless you're willing to take massive action, you won't fuck anywhere near as many women as you expect to.
Accepting this is very difficult, but it is necessary.
We need to learn how to live without this world of endless hot chicks, otherwise we'll become extremely disappointed and dissatisfied with real life, which is nothing like porn.
Anyone here is more than capable of getting a girlfriend. But our girlfriends most likely won't look like pornstars, nor they will act like them.
There's a very high probability the sex won't be pornographic in nature. There's going to be a lot of sensuality, caressing, and also clumsiness. Some days your girl will look sexy, other days not so much. Some days she'll be in the mood, other days she won't. Some days you'll struggle to keep it hard, other days you'll cum too fast. She might be able to achieve orgasms, or she might not. You might do it every other day, or maybe only 3-4 times per month.
Remember, pornstars are paid thousands of dollars to do what they're told and fulfill all your fantasies.
You must stop living in dream land.
I know this is very difficult to accept, but we have to give meaning to our lives outside fucking hot chicks.
Our happiness cannot depend on that. Otherwise you'll keep coming back to porn every time you fail to get laid in real life. You will remain attached to "sex with hot chicks" for the rest of your life.
One of the reasons GABE is such an incredible successful rebooter is because he had a deep change in heart. By this I mean that his approach is completely based on love and not lust. He views sex in terms of intimacy and connecting with another person. Watching porn doesn't even cross his mind anymore.
Now, I'm not saying you have to think exactly like him. But you should definitely change the way you view sex and women, because I can assure you it has been completely distorted by porn.
By the way, I don't believe there's anything wrong about pursuing casual sex instead of a relationship, just make sure you keep both feet on the ground.
I would also like to add that relationships are about sharing your life with another person. I know many people here want a girlfriend so that they can finally start getting laid, but relationships go much more deeper than that.
If you've never had a girlfriend before you'll know once you get one.
Thinking About Sex is USELESS
What's the point of fantasizing?
It accomplishes nothing.
It slows down the reboot, increases the urge to masturbate, and reinforces neurological pathways related to porn.
It's a meaningless activity that should be eliminated.
It keeps your mind focused on sex, tits, asses, fucking, when it should be shifted towards other activities in life.
If you find yourself thinking about sex, you should mindfully and calmly redirect your attention to something else.
You want sex?
Great.
Then do something to actually make it happen.
Fantasizing by itself serves no purpose at all.
You need to understand that if you want to abstain from orgasm and masturbation, you cannot be thinking about sex and women, because this will inevitably cause you to relapse. Trying to abstain while at the same time fantasizing or peeking at pictures of chicks will only lead to frustration.
Stay away from any kind of artificial stimulation. Don't take peeks. Don't browse pictures of girls online. Don't type pornstar names on Google image search. Don't read escort forums.
Do not arouse yourself.
Basically you have to adopt a philosophy of "I'm either trying to get laid (approaching, texting girls, going out on dates, flirting with women, hanging out with friends, getting rejected) or doing something completely unrelated to sex (work, studying, exercise, fun, reading, playing an instrument, chores, housework, watching movies)".
There is no grey area where you are alone thinking about sex or checking out girls online. This accomplishes nothing. It serves no real purpose. It will only increase urges, lead to relapse, and make you frustrated.
As soon as erotic thoughts pop up in your mind, you should calmly ignore them and refocus your attention to something else. You keep practicing this forever until you master it.
You have to attack this addiction right from the root. Trying to abstain from hardcore porn accomplishes nothing if you're still constantly fantasizing and peeking.
If you keep strengthening the mindset I talked about above, you will be making meaningful progress.
This used to be called "Monk Mode", but I don't like that name because it implies that you're going to become celibate.
This isn't about becoming celibate. This is about doing what it takes if you want to get laid, instead of wasting mental energy on sexual thoughts that will only improve the chances of relapsing.
If you ever want to achieve a long streak, you can't be checking out girls online, even if it's just some bikini pictures. You can't be fantasizing when you wake up in the morning. You can't be taking 5 second peeks at porn.
As soon as you do any of those things, this huge beast called porn addiction will take control over your prefrontal cortex and it's just a matter of time before you relapse.
You have to be extreme.
But don't worry, it's much easier than it sounds.
It's actually harder to stop yourself from relapsing once you're already thinking about sex, than it is to not think about sex in the first place.
How do you not think about sex?
Simple.
Focus your mind 100% on your life vision.
Every....single....day.
There's an interesting thread related to this created by bigbookofpenis (lol, nice username) here:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=14525.0
Take a look.
I completely support his "No Arousal Method".
Dismissing erotic thoughts as soon as they arrive in your mind is the cornerstone for preventing relapses.
This is basic stuff guys.
It's Not Orgasm What You Crave
Many people here believe that abstaining from orgasm is the most difficult part of rebooting.
WRONG.
When you get porn cravings, your brain is not asking for orgasm. As an addict, it is begging you for your hit. It misses the high, the tits, the asses, the novelty, the rush, the unrealistic sexual scenarios, the fantasies, the super hot chicks, the perfect camera shots, the feeling of letting go and indulging in pleasure, the fucking, the cumshots, the doggystyles, the boobs bouncing around, etc.
If lack of orgasm was the problem, then everyone would just fap without porn (or any other artificial stimulation). There would be no relapses and everyone would have 500+ day counters.
The urge to ejaculate only becomes a real problem once you start peeking, edging or fantasizing constantly. When you find yourself in a state of arousal then obviously you will want to cum.
But the initial urges are "addiction urges". They are mental. They are not a physical need for ejaculation.
If you feed these urges by peeking, even if it's just pictures of hot babes in bikini, then they will invade your mind and rob you of your ability to concentrate or remain calm. Eventually "autopilot" mode will be engaged and we all know what happens next.
You're not having urges to cum.
You're having urges for a "high" and a "rush".
Remember that.
This is why porn urges don't go away when you get a girlfriend.
It is a drug, and you need to learn how to live without it, regardless of whether you have a girlfriend or not.
When you abstain for several days or weeks, your sensitized pathways are anxiously waiting for any sexual cue, no matter how short or brief. This is why people mistakenly confuse real libido with porn cravings. They take a peek at porn after 15 days and they feel this intense rush and urge to cum, so they conclude that it is libido and that they must relieve pressure.
The problem was taking a peek in the first place. Had they just focused on more important things instead, they would've been able to finish the day clean without problem.
If you manage to completely abstain from fantasizig and checking out chicks online (in any form), then going a long time without orgasm won't be a problem.
And don't even think about testing or caressing your dick.
Focus 100% on your life vision.
Counters vs Spreadsheets
The following advice is aimed particularly towards those members who are having trouble getting a good run. If you're already doing good, you can skip this section.
Ok, here's the thing:
There is a sickening obsession with long streaks on this forum.
People like counters because supposedly they are helpful for tracking progress.
Well, guess what? Spreadsheets do a much better job at that.
There's a reason why I'm so stubborn with this anti-counter thing.
They are dangerous, destructive, counterproductive.
Counters reinforce the idea of being "back to zero" every time you relapse, making it way more justifiable to binge before starting over again. Not only that, but you completely lose track of how many times you're actually masturbating. They don't show the whole picture. There is absolutely no way to measure your progress at all. It's a never ending cycle of abstaining for a few days and then going back to zero.
Every time you reset your counter you become increasingly discouraged and unmotivated.
There's too much emphasis on what day you're on, no fap challenges (there are currently 7 no fap challenges running, it's ridiculous), 90 days, 100 days, etc.
If you're consistently unable to get past XX days and you're always in the low numbers, then your counter has lost its purpose.
Counters are only good when you've managed a good run, because this gives you a sense of accomplishment and provides sufficient accountability to actually prevent relapses sometimes.
Now, let's talk about spreadsheets, particularly Darxidius' format, which I'm a HUGE fan of.
This is why they're so fucking awesome:
- They keep your addiction under control: By keeping track of how many times you're actually masturbating and having orgasms, you will be forced to keep it in the low numbers. If you relapse, the spreadsheet will discourage you to binge, especially when you're sharing it with the forum. A good rule of thumb is to try to keep your orgasm count to less than 5 per month.
- They allow you to see the full picture. In gameover's words: "You don't realise how you forget over a month how many times you actually masturbate, peek, pmo or orgasm until you have it in front of you. I thought i was well under 3-4 orgasms a month but I have been up around 6-7 and this month was no better." You'll be surprised at how many times you're actually fapping.
- They completely eliminate the "counting" factor. All you have to do is keep it as clean as you can. Pretty cool eh? No more counting, no more 90 day goals, no more fap challenges. After all, we're trying to quit porn for life, not just 100 days or whatever.
- They will never discourage you. If you do relapse, you input it on the spreadsheet and move on. You don't make a new thread called "Relapsed again" or "Not making any progress". Trust me, if you went from fapping 25 times per month to 2-3 times per month, you're making huge progress, even if your counter only says "6 days".
Spreadsheets are NOT a taper off approach, of course. The goal should always be to never watch porn, to be as clean as you can, to take it one day at a time.
Tapering off, as in "I watched porn 20 times last month, so I'll watch it 15 times this month", will never work. You should never think like this. You should never give yourself the green light to PMO.
Ideally, you should replace your counter with a spreadsheet and completely forget about what day you're on. Then, if you do manage to get on a good run, you can put your counter back up for accountability and motivational purposes.
However, I understand many people here are in love with their counters.
They look pretty.
They are fancy.
I get it, I get it.
So this is what I propose:
(Once again, this ONLY applies to people who are struggling. If you're already on day 70 or whatever then don't change anything, but consider using a spreadsheet if you do end up relapsing.)
Set up your signature so that it can show BOTH a counter and a spreadsheet.
It would look something like this:
📷
This way you would be getting the best of both worlds.
How hard can that be?
Here's how you can incorporate it in your signature IMMEDIATELY:
Step #1: Log in to your Google account.
Step #2: Open Darxidius' spreadsheet here.
Step #3: Go to File->Make a Copy and give it a name
Step #4: Go to Share in the upper right corner and change it from 'Private' to 'Anyone with a link'.
Step #5: Add the following code to your forum signature (make sure you replace 'SPREADSHEET_LINK' with your actual spreadsheet link):
That's it!
📷
Anytime you need to update your spreadsheet just log in to Google Docs and open it.
Simple as that.
By the way, try to stick to Darxidius' format. I've seen many people use their own version of spreadsheets, but there is a huge advantage of seeing the graphical representation of green cells.
It's very motivating.
Conclusion
To sum it up, the typical rebooting advice of "Hey man, just do a 90 day reboot" is basically useless.
This is a very serious addiction and should be treated as such.
Willpower alone won't do it.
Change the way you live.
Change the way you think.
And please, stop making so many posts about porn, cravings, urges, relapsing, erections, 90 days, etc.
Instead, focus on the most important thing:
Your life.
Sincerely, TheUnderdog
--
Gotta clarify some things:
I have never said that the reason we started watching porn was because of life problems. In fact, I would argue that is not the case for the majority of us.
I didn't have any childhood issues or family problems when I was young. I just discovered porn on my own and liked it because it was very pleasurable. As kids and teenagers we are curious and horny.
However, as years go by, we become dependent on it not only because of its extreme addictive nature and accessibility, but also because we start using it as a way to cope with life.
The reason we start using porn and the reason we continue to use porn once we're addicts aren't necessarily the same.
I also didn't mean to say that all porn addicts have shitty lives. Actually by shitty all I mean is being dissatisfied in one way or another. Maybe you constantly put off your goals. Or maybe you waste a lot of time online and want to change that. That doesn't mean your life is shit. It just means it could be better.
I am completely aware there are exceptions. There is a guy who told me he had no problems getting instant makeouts and fucking chicks the same day he meets them. There are others who actually have incredibly busy lives and only watch porn to get some pleasure and relax.
Whatever your situation is, the main point of my post still stands. You should focus on moving towards what you want, instead of constantly complaining and wasting lots of energy on staying away from porn.
Concentrate on building the life you dream about and this will help you tremendously on your quest to overcome your addiction to porn.
submitted by TrollD4d to NoFap [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 19:30 MetalBirdy35 Where to meet women during COVID 19 if you do not like or trust using online dating sites personally.

So during this continuous time of the Covid 19 pandemic, one thing that I seen so called dating experts on YouTube say is online dating is hot right now. Yeah uh sure, personally as a man myself I hate online dating and do not trust it. Not I had any luck on it, only once I honestly did but to me online dating is rigged against men. You deal with too many other dudes flooding women’s inbox looking for a one night stand, or women mostly are old users who never log into their profile on there, or they are there using them for a ego narcissistic boost seeing how many men give them validation.
So if men like myself hate online dating, where to meet women potentially.
Some bars depending on your state are reopened, and bar restaurants, but to me that’s the worst spot to meet women. Loud environment plus too many PUA or douchebags at those spots. Or they got their boyfriend, husband at those places too as I seen before.
Concerts are no way even tho there is none going on, 99% of the time women always bring their boyfriend, husband to those shows in my experience, and I was a avidly concert goer being a rock & heavy metal fan myself.
Grocery stores are a no as well because women are there just to shop for food and leave only all my own experience seeing their vibes, body language they have at them.
Coffee shops maybe, they are open during this pandemic, malls even if it’s a teenager thing there still is grown adults at them. Maybe a downtown area location park , Where else anybody have their own personal solutions??
submitted by MetalBirdy35 to AskMenAdvice [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 14:30 Godawakening The new male dating platform

Hi everyone
I think it is time for us to reinvent the male dating strategy. We should get rid of all of the old philosophy, concepts, culture, buzzwords and start again from the ground up. The old philosophies were often based out of insecurities, with a over reliance on words, and short-term improvements. The strategies back then do not work today and it is long overdue for a revamp of the entire industry.
What do I propose? Through my research over 15 years, looks play a very big part of todays dating culture. The new strategy should involve getting ripped, fixing your teeth and re-inventing yourself as a warrior alpha male. Routines, opening lines, outer-game in general should be shunned. Any of the old buzzwords like HB, set, attraction. qualification, shit test - these all need to GO. It is time to rebuild the house from a position of strength.
- Cold approach is out. If you're average/ugly cold approaches do not work anymore. Women nowadays seem to need you to be vouched for.
We need a new system. Wipe the page clean of all of your knowledge and start again.
Low value female - value is now determined by how you are treated NOT looks. More women than you think use fake teeth, makeup strategies, filters in pictures, boob enhancements etc. A female who expects you to pay for dates, is a low value female. The roles of men and women have changed. For instance in the old philosophy, a model female would be considered high value, now a female who puts in some effort with us is considered high value.
Women with insecurities should also be considered low value. If she is trying to annoy you all the time and play games, she is low value and maybe negative-value, and should be rejected. The new dating strategy isn't about sex, it is about attracting someone you wow, actually like.
We should also purge the guys in the oldthink, the ones who call girls bitches and show a general disregard/ or use old pickup artist techniques. It isn't about tricking a woman into bed, it is about getting ripped, improving your confidence and showing a woman that her looks will not automatically mean you're interested. This isn't an act by the way, why do we place value on a girl who is goodlooking, but only obtained everything she has through looks? High value men see through that.
In regards to meeting women might need some help here. Online dating only really works for goodlooking guys. The new strategy should revolve around meeting A LOT of women at once (social circle) it is no longer about ''approaches'' but improving your inner confidence / looks / status, then meeting women at work etc i.e the long game. Bars/clubs are no longer the strategy.
Conclusion: Women will always trash male dating strategies. They have quite a big influence in the journalism world, which was used to take down the puas. Im pretty sure once this gets more popular, they will trash trash this to. Which is why it is super important that the strategy is a authentic one that doesn't promise the world.
The new strategy should protect itself. The only strategy which will work now is coming from a place of authenticity. Unfortunately, a lot of the hotter girls have 1,000s of date opportunitys per week, so using techniques now do not work. You will have to work on the long-game strategy.
submitted by Godawakening to MaleDatingStrategy [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 20:19 sometimesabraham [California] Pandemic Unemployment Assistance

Posting my question here since I can't get in contact with the EDD help line.
I work for a school, and we closed down in March like most others. Luckily, they sent me my checks through the end of the school year so I did not qualify for unemployment then.
In the summer, I applied for PUA and qualified but when I go to certify in my online profile, the weeks it asks me to certify are for the end of August and beginning of September. At which point, I had already started working for the school again.
Is there any way to get EDD to change the date of the certification to the dates I was actually not working (Mid June to End of August)?
I dont want to certify for in correct weeks cuz it could get me in trouble, naturally. Thanks for the help!
edit: mobile formatting
submitted by sometimesabraham to Unemployment [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 18:34 ExCap2 Florida Unemployment 101 (Part 4)

Current Post: https://old.reddit.com/florida/comments/isog1t/florida_unemployment_101_part_4/ Old Post: https://old.reddit.com/florida/comments/i3tn8x/florida_unemployment_101_part_3/ Old Post: https://old.reddit.com/florida/comments/gj3g7x/florida_unemployment_101_part_2/ Old Post: https://old.reddit.com/florida/comments/fz169y/florida_unemployment_101/

LWA $300 PAYMENTS x 3 ARE BEING DIRECT DEPOSITED/SENT OUT AS PAPER CHECKS STARTING TODAY 09/08/2020 -- 4x Payments of $300 As Of 09/14/2020 -- 4x Payments Is All Floridians Will Receive In Total

DESANTIS HAS APPLIED FOR THE $300 WEEKLY, I WOULD ONLY EXPECT 3-5 WEEKS AT MOST. IT'S RETROACTIVE BACK TO WEEKS CLAIMED BEGINNING WITH THE WEEK OF JULY 26TH THROUGH AUGUST 1ST AND FORWARD

WORK SEARCH REQUIREMENTS/WORKFORCE REGISTRATION ARE WAIVED UNTIL DECEMBER 5TH!

*If you got taken off of FOOD BENEFITS because you made too much. YOU CAN RE-APPLY since the $600 is gone. -- https://www.myflorida.com/accessflorida/ *

Decent Daily Youtuber Who Gives Daily Updates on Stimulus Check/Stimulus Package: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCigUBIf-zt_DA6xyOQtq2WA/videos -- I am NOT Him or Affiliated. Been a fan since the beginning though.

Warning: DO NOT do any work search registration/workshop stuff on unemploymentpua.com, Florida has it's own state employment website in which you could do stuff like this for free. Don't give out your information to random websites. Work searches are easy to enter.

IMPORTANT NOTICE #1: You have to call Florida DEO now to back date your claim. Your claim can be back dated back to March 9th, 2020 for regular unemployment and back to January 27th, 2020 for PUA (when you were affected by COVID-19). Don't ask to backdate for PUA unless you're already approved and eligible.

IMPORTANT NOTICE #2: If you applied for regular unemployment and are ineligible, a link for PUA should show up within 7 days of your denial. If it doesn't, you may have to call Florida DEO.

CONNECT Homepage Links - Right-Click And Open In New Window/Tab (Requires You To Be Logged In First Through Main Login Page - DO NOT CLOSE BROWSER ONCE LOGGED IN)

FL UNEMPLOYMENT EXECUTIVE ORDER START AND EXPIRATION DATES

Work Search Requirements WAIVED - Started: March 29th, 2020 - Expires: December 5th, 2020

Workforce Registration WAIVED - Started: March 29th, 2020 - Expires: December 5th, 2020

Waiting Week WAIVED - Started: March 29, 2020 - Expires: December 5th, 2020

EXPIRED - Certifying/Claiming Weeks WAIVED - Started: April 16th, 2020 - Expires: May 9th, 2020

AVAILABLE NOW - Federal Pandemic Unemployment Compensation (FPUC)

AVAILABLE NOW - Pandemic Unemployment Assistance (PUA)

AVAILABLE NOW - Pandemic Emergency Unemployment Compensation (PEUC)

AVAILABLE - IRS.GOV $1200 Stimulus Checks Are GOING OUT!

USEFUL AND IMPORTANT UNEMPLOYMENT RELATED WEBSITES

FILE YOUR CLAIM -- Filing Unemployment From Beginning To End

File Your Claim

Verification: Wages And Identity

Monetary Determination

Claiming Weekly Benefits

Payments

Waiting Week

Workforce Registration

FL DEO CONNECT Homepage When SIGNED IN

submitted by ExCap2 to florida [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 17:32 liminal-state [Massachusetts] PUA - Did Freelance Work, Won't Get Paid For 60 Days - Filing Concerns

I am a freelance artist, and I have a corporate client that pays their contracts 60 days after invoice is submitted (just nuts). So I chatted online with a PUA rep, asking when to claim those earnings. I was told to claim them at the end of the week I did the work and to estimate earnings. Rather than claim the earnings when I'm paid.
Yet when filing and I reach "Provide Income Information", under "What were your gross earnings" there is a is a check box for:
I had no earnings for the period between [Date] and [Date]
Interestingly that checkbox option only appears if I select that [YES], I did telework.
I DID work last week and will be invoicing Monday, but did I technically earn anything yet?
Before I file for the week, to be safe I am just going to call (god help me) CS and talk this time to a person rather than chat, and get a second opinion. Funds are TIGHT and that little bit of money won't be here for 60 freakin' days.
Figured I'd bring it up here in the meantime, if for nothing else my sanity. Thanks.
submitted by liminal-state to Unemployment [link] [comments]


2020.09.11 17:20 KaidonLeovani Advice gathered fro my mistakes (23yo)

Hey everyone, I am a 23 y.o. I sense that in many occasions I under-performed in life. When I say "underperforme" I mean A LOT of underachieving. Today I repented in front of God. I wrote a letter and burned it and while the paper was being diminished in smoke I got the urge to make a "map" of how and why me as a young man (and I sense that many other as well) fall from our best form and purpose. And yes PMO has to do a lot with it.
Since I made a map, but i can't post the image I will leave you a link for the image here and in the comments if the moderators approve this post. https://imgur.com/ArtAbdk
This is the image of my map. Lets start with the pink arrow. This signifies Love. TTR is the abbreviation behind Trying To Reprove. This happens when a young men develops feelings with a girl but later understands that her feelings don't correspond. This results in frustration and the question: I am training, working, being funny etc. why wasn't I good enough. So the frustrated male goes to clubs, tries to signal high value and all of the lousy stuff taken from the PUA books just to reprove the situation. Do you see the two other pink lines that go from left to right on the map and point towards the section of Love and Lust?
While doing all of the improvement operations you lose time and interest for essential obligations like university or something else. You even lose time for your dream purpose. The pink line points to love. You believe that if you can figure this out you could go on with your life. It is not rare that a man finds the red pill. Although it is always a good idea to dabble in new philosophies, men fall into an anger trap. They watch red pill after red pill video from the moment they wake up. This takes some hours of their day leaving them without answers how to reprove their love life or the female nature.
Do you know what else takes hours from our day? Masturbation (Arrow 1.M). Since you don't have a GF you stay alone at home angry after the MGTOW videos. While masturbating you strengthen the path in your brain that searches for happiness from porn and not from doing tasks and chores. So this takes time and energy from your obligations in university and even purpose. (the red arrow)
Arrow 2.OT (Omegle and Tinder)
What takes even more time is your "craving" for the female. Resulting in stupid online activities like trying to hook up with a girl in omegle or making a tinder account. This ends up in more relapses, less real sex and diminished energy for important tasks. You get your dopamine hit, once again, not from activities but from delusions. You are basically begging for female energy in your life every time you open tinder or chats like omegle. And you lose hours upon hours by doing it.
The third red arrow in the section of Love and Lust is 3. DA. I call this arrow Dating advice. So instead of MGTOW videos you go to the more useful "Redpill advice for dating" videos. Bro, you have value outside of dating and the attractiveness you currently thing you lack. Under the same arrow goes social media and other useless stuff that doesn't seem to be useless and many people perceive them as rather useful. My case with Social media was a bit different. I started to compulsively scroll the media after i got separated with my crush after an argument. She used to compliment me on my posts and always say how funny I was but she ceased to give me any admiration or acknowledgment. To top it off. I would get a dopamine fix just by seing her name. EX, liked this page. This became a small substitute for lack of contact and my broken heart started to open social media more and more.
Now lest move to the Work and Obligations, shall we.
At worst, by falling in the traps of Love and Lust. You will be laying in bed, watching redpill videos. Angry. Looking through sites like omegle to beg for pussy, etc.
Instead you had 2 very important tasks: Imposed and self-imposed obligations.
The first one is on the bottom of Work and Obligation sections => Profit and balance.
When we are young this is usually school/university. While I as a man fully understand that my dreams are not at the end of the school year, nor a good grade can deliver me closer to my goals there is something very important.
Parents often make their kids study very hard. My advice for young people is. Find what you want to do and if your family is strict ask them for a "contract".
"I study and have good grades, you leave me alone to pursue my hobby etc."
This is profit and balance - take whatever cool and valuable there is in the academic world but balance it with the things you truly want to do.
When you are a bit older in university. If you don't have habits to tackle the less important stuff(academic tasks) you will struggle with deadlines and possibly student debt, also shame because you failed college etc.
What you can do is - quickly tackle the tasks. And move to your PURPOSE. If you postpone your tasks. You may feel guilty and avoid doing work on your purpose. Since sex is the biggest motivation in life. You will choose the middle path between work and purpose which leads to porn, omegle, etc.
Now this is important advice I can give.
MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF THE GOD DAMN YEARS
If you think university is shit. Leave and pursue your passion. I think it would be wise to stay, make friends and benefits as much as you can from uni. Are there any cool teachers and lecturers. You may develop interest in some field, they may open your eyes for more. Maybe there is an academic competition you can apply for. My biggest regret is not paying enough attention to university. Not because it till bring me closer to the dreams but because after all there were some valuable stuff that i missed not studying. Respect your position in life be it a classroom and a lecture. Do the necessary, don't be always nagging because nothing in school is cool and you always masturbate.
Now lets move to the PURPOSE PART.
This is the most important part since it can defeat all of the negatives no matter if you are a lustful mess or a college dropout. Lets say you went to the beach with your family when you were young. Suddenly in your teens the local company built huge concrete hotels. And now the calm beach with small bungalows became a crowded resort. Not to mention the corruption and money laundering happening there. Even more, normal people cant visit the beach, now surrounded with hotels, you have to pay to gain access to the beach area.
So you think - what about buying the place, getting rid of the concrete hotels and build peaceful bungalows while making the beach accessible to all people. This becomes your purpose. Suddenly your mind is flooded with ideas. They come so fast you have to write them on your phone. What about saving money and buying shares of the company that sacked the beautiful beach. When I get enough I can vote for a change in the plan of the new resort in the board of the company's stake-owners. So you learn about stocks and investments. Work, save some money. Then you make a YouTube channel about investing since you learned so much about it. Slowly the youtube channel brings you possibilities for more money. You get more income, buy more stocks while teaching people how to be financially well. You diversify your portfolio while steadily buying stocks.Eventually you succeed and bring back the justice in the world even if it is for a small place like the secluded beach hijacked by the greedy corporation.
This is purpose. It can motivate you for a higher mission above all the distractions of lust. But not every-time. See if you have to choose between studding for a test and doing a YouTube channel for investments 101 - the choice is easy. But left with no tests and leaving uni you have to choose.
  1. Your purpose
  2. Youtube Redpill videos, pointless pussy begging, love sorrow etc.
So you have to find a way around it, since sex is the biggest motivator.
Maybe it is good to say to yourself. Why am i begging for female energies am i so empty and week. Why do I need porn, why do i need to impress a chick when i can move mountains (with my purpose) and do something rather good.
The last part - good habits to consider is also important. See, life on your purpose has to be accompanied with some cools stuff. Cold showers, horse riding (which brings social interaction) book reading, volunteering etc. Put some good habbits and activities in you schedule.
TL:DR
Don't try to fix past relationships. Don't indulge in PMO, or use the internet to beg for pussy in sites or apps like tinder. Try to get the most out of college/school - get to know cool teachers and study, and participate in cool stuff. Since you tackle the annoying work - university, you now have time for your purpose. Be careful not to indulge in porn it will make you pursue female energy as the only way for satisfaction making your brain unwilling to write the little homework and get a scholarship. Be more assertive. Work on your purpose you don't have to bow down to anyone nor your family nor society nor your gf, nor my advice to stay in college - this is the path you chose for yourself you have your right. Also consider incorporating cool activities - sport, reading etc to make your days even brighter.
I love you my brothers and wish you all the best. I would love to hear from you in the comments.
submitted by KaidonLeovani to NoFap [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 22:53 EDD_Nerd [Other] LWA California EDD Official Update 9/10/20

The EDD had more than 1,000 staff working over the long Labor Day holiday weekend to process claims and initiate new $300 a week payments under the federal Lost Wages Assistance (LWA) program. EDD is paying LWA benefits based on the order in which the EDD received the claimant’s certification for regular UI or PUA benefits for the three weeks between July 26 and August 15. Those who have already certified for benefits for these weeks and verified to the EDD that their full or partial unemployment is related to the COVID-19 pandemic, which is a federal government requirement, will receive LWA payments first.
The federal government also requires claimants to have a minimum weekly benefit award of $100 or more on their initial claim. Those who received a payment on that claim for the weeks between July 26 and August 15 should expect one of these scenarios for additional LWA payments:
• Claimants who submitted their certification for all three of those weeks at the same time will receive one lump sum of $900 ($300/week x 3 weeks).
• Claimants who did not submit their certification for all three of those weeks at the same time, the payments will be split in two due to normal bi-weekly payment cycles based on when you provided your certifications for the three weeks of benefits. - Those with the weeks ending August 1st and 8th in the same two-week cycle will receive a $600 payment first followed a few days later by the remaining $300 for August 15th. - Those with the week ending date of August 1st on the second half of their two-week cycle will receive $300 first and the other $600 should arrive a few days later for the weeks ending August 8th and 15th.
• Claimants that were not paid for one or two weeks of the initial three week period due to excessive earnings, fully employed, or disqualified will only receive LWA payments for weeks paid. • All first phase of LWA payments are scheduled to be completed in the next couple of weeks. Starting September 15, the EDD will start accepting self- attestations from phase 2 claimants who had not yet verified to the EDD that there’s a COVID-19 related reason for their full or partial unemployment. Throughout the week, EDD will be sending emails, texts, or mailed notices advising them to complete the self-attestation online through their UI Online account or to send in a paper form through the mail.
After these Phase One and Phase Two payments of the $300/week are made, EDD will distribute the two additional weeks of LWA payments recently approved by the federal government. More information will be coming about when to expect these additional two weeks of LWA benefits. California is currently applying for a 6th week of LWA payments for claimants contingent upon the availability of federal funds. If this is approved, more information will also be provided about when to expect such payments.
https://edd.ca.gov/About_EDD/pdf/news-20-46.pdf
submitted by EDD_Nerd to Unemployment [link] [comments]


2020.09.08 14:42 Bklyn2DTLA DEO Agent Sat And Lied To Me For Over A 34 MIN . . . .

Hello,
So, I called about a supposedly backdated claim (I'm PUA) I made with a agent 2 weeks ago, to find out from the agent today, that or supposedly, she didn't do anything. The agent today also slipped up and can see where I filled out the online form for a back date claim back on June 30th. But she tried to lie to me and say that, Oh you filled out the wrong form and that we are back dating regular unemployment not PUA. she also said, it is up to the DEO to decide who is getting their PUA backed dated money. I said, isn;t that all Federal money ? Why is the state deciding on Federal money ? That money should be given out for the reasons it was given to the state . . . She didn't have much of a comment on that.
She also basically went on to say that everyone I've talked to are liars and that this is the way its done. That the screen shots I've seen must be from people with regular unemployment. When I said, why don't you want to help ? She said, "I'd love to, I want to help people. I have nothing to lose. I want to help." I explained, "You have your job to lose, everyone has something to lose."
She wouldn't help me, so any suggestion on tactics for tomorrows call. I now have the info of my back dated claim has be sitting in the system since June 30th, 2 months ago. I also have all the bullshit these 2 agents have feed and lied to me about.
What else can I say that will help this get pushed through ??
submitted by Bklyn2DTLA to FloridaUnemployment [link] [comments]


2020.09.04 22:48 thetranquillife1 A Perspective on the Secular and Emerging Christian Manosphere

As many of you no doubt know, there is a growing collection of forums, blogs and websites devoted to the promotion of masculinity, opposition to feminism and mild hostility towards the modern woman (not something I endorse). This collective online presence has been term the 'manosphere.'
Men's Rights Activism (MRA), Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), the Red Pill (RP) and Pick-up Artistry (PUA) are the popular movements within the manosphere. Recently there has been an emerging Christian manosphere, including groups such as RPChristians, CMGTOW and small communities like this one. Inevitably, a time comes when it is useful to highlight the differences between the groups and to analyse the different philosophies.
Reasons for the Emerging Manosphere:
It is not unfair to suggest that the manosphere is a reactionary movement to the trends of modern western society; male-only spaces have declined in the last century, depriving men and boys the chance to cultivate their masculinity and learn of manhood. Work places are now open to men and women, and even some industries are female-dominated, such as teaching, healthcare and retail. The only real place for hundreds and thousands of men to gather and discuss issues pertinent to men is in online forums, such as Reddit, and unfortunately, many of these groups are censored.
To try and understand the nature of the reaction, one should attempt to understand the modern feminist movement. Unfortunately, nowhere has there been a complete and comprehensive unpicking of the movement (as far as I know).
With that being understood, please consider these brief summaries of the main movements with the secular and Christian manosphere: as much as I might try, it is not possible to fully summarise what are complex and diverse movements, and I make no claim of total comprehension.
Men's Rights Activism (MRA):
According to MRAs, men's issues in recent decades have gone largely ignored whilst women's challenges have been elevated to the top of the agenda: men are more likely to commit suicide, lose wealth and custody of their children in divorce, perform worse academically, experience homelessness, have a fatal accident at work, be diagnosed late, be incarcerated, and be victims of false allegations. The MRAs believe that men are victimised and disadvantaged relative to women, especially in the realms of marriage, and that feminism is uninterested in the plights of men.
MRAs desire and campaign for legislative reform. However, in recent years, MRA has faltered, as many men see campaigning as a 'dead end' task. This I believe has led disillusioned men into groups such as MGTOW.
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW):
MGTOW adds an additional layer to MRA; MGTOW men would agree with MRAs that there are many unaddressed men's issues, but it is their experiences or perceived interactions with women that have convinced them to abandon long-term relationships and marriage with women. MGTOW men perceive women to be deeply hypergamous, moody, false accusers or potential false accusers, unrefined and 'not worth the risk.' Some MGTOW men still date but only casually, and try to limit their interactions with women to a minimum, often refusing to co-habitate with women. MGTOWs often complain about the lack of home economic skills that women today 'bring to the table.'
MGTOW like to stress that it is not a movement, and it is true that MGTOW is a diverse collection of men. Some men have experienced terrible divorce ('divorce rape') and feel resentment towards women, other men choose the path of celibacy for peace of mind and financial gain, and others still do it because they do not believe in accepting the new lower standard of woman. There is very much a deep sentiment that western society is on the path toward ruin, and that it is better to 'enjoy the decline' than to participate anymore than one needs to i.e. not having a family or large assets etc.
MGTOW is currently a 'quarantined' community on Reddit. The theory is that these men stick around for a while, absorb and internalise the information, and then leave, thus making it hard to know the exact numbers who are involved in this way of life. There are also popular MGTOW YouTubers who promote their own brand of MGTOW and they have also come under YouTube censorship rules in recent months.
Pick-up Artistry (PUA):
Pick-up artists, as one can probably guess, is about utilising knowledge of female nature and improving yourself, typically physically (weight lifting, exercise, grooming etc.), to "get with" women or to get involved in a long-term relationship. PUAs generally do not perceive the same risks of engagement with women as the MGTOWs or MRAs, and if they do, they think the rewards outweigh the risks. PUAs will not only work on their physique but will also polish up on their "game" and charm.
From my perspective, PUAs are largely ignorant of the female-bias of society, mainstream media and education, and they aren't concerned with the plights of men, of which they are most likely ignorant of. It is a simple movement but like MRA, is loosing adherents to MGTOW.
The Red Pill (tRP):
For those familiar with the Matrix trilogy, Neo is offered two pills by Morpheus, a red pill and a blue pill; the red pill will open Neo's 'eyes' to the true nature of reality, but the blue pill will keep him unaware of the true reality of existence. The manosphere use the concept of 'taking the red pill' to mean that a man has awoken to the true reality of women, seeing them for who they really are. Often this involves discussion of hypergamy, emotions, and behaviours, especially relating to dating and co-habitation. This concept of the 'red pill' is the philosophical underpinning of most of the movements in the secular manosphere.
The underlying reason for the emergence of the 'red pill concept' is the 'demoralisation of women.' Liberalism and feminism encourage women to dress, act and behave sensually, in a way that probably hasn't been normalised since the pre-Christian Greco-Roman period. The sensuality of women and toxic ideologies has coarsened their beauty and led to toxic behavioural traits ('the dark triad') that have become more common. Men are trying to understand how to cope and interact with a gender that increasingly doesn't act according to their natural instincts.
Like MGTOW, tRP is currently quarantined and was one of the first movements in the manosphere to be quarantined. It encompassed MRAs, MGTOWs and PUAs but since its restriction, has become less of a talking point.
Art of Manliness (AOM):
Although this group acknowledge the harm of feminism, they don't focus on women as much as other men's groups do. They promote a broad masculinity, masculinity typically from the late Victoria period to the mid twentieth century. Much of the advice regarding grooming, social etiquette, attire, conduct is excellent, although there is little to no focus on what are termed Christic-Pauline and Scriptural masculinity.
The primary reason masculinity has vanished is spiritual and without men finding faith again, trying to "recreate the past" will prove difficult and naive. Unless men grow closer to God through Christ and His word, the art of manliness will be neglected.
RPChristians:
RPChristians is a small but growing community that is somewhat of a combination between PUA and tRP, but without the fornication-emphasis that the PUA has; RPChristians focus on improving their physiques and establishing themselves as heads in their households and leaders in their relationships. They emphasise the concept of 'wife screening', to avoid getting involved with women with undesirable and incompatible traits: terminology such as 'red flags' and 'green flags' are used in this context.
It is pretty narrow in its scope, neglecting to focus on wider masculine identity. However, many of the members are in the philosophy of common sense.
CMGTOW/mgtowchristian:
CMGTOWs are males that identify as Christians who choose to live celibate lives. There are some that use passages from the Bible to support their lifestyle, and their are others who share, for all intents and purposes, the same beliefs as the wider MGTOW movement (hence the 'MGTOW' element of CMGTOW). The motives are mixed, some individuals do it for God, others do it out of risk-aversion.
It might also be added that the reason for its genesis is likely due to the hostility shown towards Christianity in MGTOW subs. Most MGTOW subs take a materialistic view of life, and cast some of the blame on 'blue-pilled' weak Christianity: the idea that Christianity unduly promotes the welfare of women and that Christian men are weak and passive (something that may well be true).
ChristianManliness:
Traditional Protestant masculine identity has largely faded out of western consciousness, since the calamities of WWI and WWII. Physical prowess, devotion to Christ, admiration for beauty and the natural world, academic brilliance and pride in work were central qualities and pursuits of the Protestant man. The Christian Manliness movement, centred around the masculine identities of Christ and Paul, is in desperate need of renewal and revival. Although evolving and changing, Christian Manliness is designed to inspire and equip young and old, to build strong marriages, healthy constitutions and robust character. The movement is committed to liberty, the word of God, and particularly, sexual morality. However, such a movement is dependent on converts, and therefore takes second place to the Christian's duty to spread the gospel. It is a luxury.
Manful Protestantism can be practised by the single or married, by the fit or out-of-shape, by the practical or academically learned. It is not an attempt to homogenise Christian men, but is designed to promote the concept of self-defined individual masculinity.
Perspectives on the Secular and Emerging Manosphere:
Concluding Remarks:
Christian men need to avoid falling into the resentment trap of the manosphere. Resentment will 'eat up' the individual and more importantly, doesn't solve the problem. We should concern ourselves with privately keeping to 'the old book' and not falling into Pharisaic legalistic condemnation.
It does seem hard currently to see women in the western world submitting to federal headship, the word of God and abandoning heavy feminist conditioning. However, all things are in God's control.
As Christian men, we shouldn't rule out the possibility of future relationships or neglect our own, but we should act cautiously making sure that at the very least, we aren't ensnared by someone who will hurt us and take us away from God's word.

Creating a Counter Culture
Christian Manliness Movement
The Goal and Triumph of Self-defined Masculinity
submitted by thetranquillife1 to ChristianManliness [link] [comments]


2020.09.04 11:13 VDKay Turned 30 as a virgin. Now 1 year later after a few lays and my first relationship

Hello all. I have contributed here and there on reddit with comments and posts, but I felt a need to collect some of my top relationship advice for anyone interested in the experience of a 30yo virgin who finally got some success with women and finally got into an awesome relationship. Of course, it's clear that I am far from an "expert", however, my seduction journey has been long and I've studied much both in terms of resources as well as observing people around me and trying out stuff myself. Thus, I'd like to share my realizations, observations and advice with anyone who has a hard time in his 20's or thinks that he is "too old" to start dating.
Edit: Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/seduction/comments/io6ciu/turned_30_as_a_virgin_now_1_year_later_after_a/
Sorry for the long post. Took me a while to write. If you want a tl;dr, just read the bold on each bullet to sum-up. I also know that some points are quite controversial and they will just not resonate with everyone. They only reflect my own personal opinions.
I will post an update as more bullet points come up.
submitted by VDKay to seduction [link] [comments]


2020.09.02 19:16 StruggleComplete8200 [GEORGIA] BENEFIT DETERMINATION DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE APPROVED!!

I have seen this A NUMEROUS amount of times... “I was approved and no money”. I wonder if y’all actually read into these things.. some of you receive a benefit determination letter or see a benefit summary on your online account and assume you’re approved and it’s not the case.
FROM GDOL’s WEBSITE
 For UI: 
Step 1: Individual files a regular state unemployment claim. A claimant will receive 2 emails - one stating that the claim was received and another stating the claim was processed. Step 2: Individual receives a Benefits Determination letter, which shows if a claimant has enough wages to determine a valid regular state unemployment claim. If so, an individual receives a second determination letter (Claims Examiner's Determination) informing the claimant if state benefits are approved or denied.
 For PUA: 
Individual completes the PUA application and submits for processing. An email is sent confirming processing of the application and informing the applicant of the date when he/she can begin certifying for benefits. The email also contains a link for certifying and provides a secure email address to send employment and wage documentation for Tax Year January 1 to December 31, 2019. Applicants need to certify (request payment) for all eligible weeks since the closing of their business due to COVID-19. A weekly determination amount is decided and the claimant receives a PUA Benefits Determination letter in the mail stating the weekly benefit amount. If an applicant is able to establish a valid claim, he/she receives a PUA Claims Examiner's Determination letter informing the claimant if benefits are approved or denied.
submitted by StruggleComplete8200 to Unemployment [link] [comments]


2020.09.01 21:14 Maldeath31 [Massachusetts] INFO ON LWA PAYMENTS UPDATE

BOSTON, MA — Standard unemployment insurance claimant benefits expected to be disbursed on or before September 15, 2020
The Massachusetts Department of Unemployment Assistance (DUA) has begun disbursement of Lost Wages Assistance (LWA) benefits to Pandemic Unemployment Assistance (PUA) claimants, who will receive benefits beginning September 2, 2020. Payments are expected in claimant accounts by Saturday, September 5th. For those who are eligible for LWA through the standard unemployment assistance program accessed through UI Online, benefits are expected to be disbursed on or before September 15, 2020.
The Commonwealth’s application to receive grant funding to pay a limited additional weekly unemployment benefit to claimants under the federal Lost Wages Supplemental Payment Assistance (LWA) program for the weeks ending 8/1/20, 8/8/20, and 8/15/20 was recently approved by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). The application was submitted by the Massachusetts Emergency Management Agency (MEMA), in coordination with the Department of Unemployment Assistance (DUA). An additional application for the week of 8/22/20 has been sent to FEMA and the Massachusetts DUA is awaiting review by FEMA.
Per FEMA’s authorization, the grant will fund an additional $300 weekly payment to those who are eligible for at least $100 in weekly unemployment benefits for the three weeks ending 8/1/20, 8/8/20, and 8/15/20. The Massachusetts Department of Unemployment Assistance continues to work on the technology and business requirements necessary for this program and
anticipates being able to quickly deliver retroactive funds to all eligible claimants in the coming weeks. Most eligible claimants currently receiving benefits do not need to take any action because the Commonwealth will automatically add LWA to their weekly benefit payment retroactive to the dates specified in the grant.
submitted by Maldeath31 to Unemployment [link] [comments]


2020.09.01 04:07 DynamicCrab Women Are As Entitled As Men

Posted this some time back on this sub but it was removed. Reason: it read out more like a rant. So I changed the structure of it.
Everywhere I keep hearing women accusing men of being entitled. The funny thing is, women (especially today) are as entitled as men, just in different ways.
And this has happened because of the '' You can't have your cake and eat it too '' factor involved in feminism. The whole idea of feminism was for women to be treated the same way as men. Which most would assume would also mean that the perks of being a woman (i.e. receiving chivalry, being taken care of, expecting men to blow you off your feet to prove his worthiness) would also be taken away since you want to be treated exactly like a man would.
But that's not happened. If it did happen, then women would be kneeling down and asking men for their hand in marriage.
Case 1: In online dating, its expected that the man has to come up with something ingenius and high-value as his opener message and only then after proving his worth, will he be worthy of her attention. If he simply opens up with '' Hi '', then he's not worth it.
I've heard women call men entitled FOR opening up with '' hey '', because that itself is seen as a form of entitlement - To expect a response for just saying hey.
Case 2: In the PUA world, it is expected that the men should be charming, humorous, witty and brave to enter a relationship. Meanwhile no expectations from women, because women are considered the prize.
Same case with frustrated men who complain that they can't get a girlfriend. Other people tell them '' You need to work on yourself more ''. Well why is it always the men who only have to work on themselves? How come women don't have to work on themselves? Are the women perfect?
Isn't this the very definition of entitlement? To expected someone to prove their worth first?
submitted by DynamicCrab to PurplePillDebate [link] [comments]


2020.08.28 21:30 npe906 [Illinois] Forgot to file for unemployment when I first got furloughed, but now I'm back at my job and wondering if I can get backpay for all the weeks I missed

Before all of this COVID stuff happened, I was a full-time student that worked a part time job until I was furloughed around early April 2020. During that time, I didn't think about applying for Unemployment because I didn't know about it (as well as having other things to worry about like the pandemic and transferring to online learning). Fast forward a few months, I learned some of my friends were receiving Unemployment benefits as well as the extra $600 every week until they ultimately had to go back to work. Around early June, I was offered to come back, but didn't come back until early July.
After doing some research, looking at the Illinois FAQ, and looking at other posts on this sub, it seems that I was potentially eligible for unemployment, and that meant I could potentially back date a claim. BUT, it seems that people who actually applied back in March/April are able to back date a claim if it was due to problems with the website or something else. But in my case, I never actually applied back when I first got furloughed. Would this affect me being in able to apply for UI NOW and trying to backdate to when I was first furloughed? And if I am still eligible, is there anyway for me to specifically get UI from the day I was furloughed to when I was offered work at my part time job again? I'm aware that once my job offers me work again, I can't claim unemployment benefits anymore.
I hope that made sense. And thanks in advance to anybody who can help me out :) Stay safe out there.
Edit: I'm dumb. Got mixed up with PUA, I meant just normal UI.
submitted by npe906 to Unemployment [link] [comments]


2020.08.26 18:25 ifyougiveagirlabook PUA Unemployment Update and Semi-Wild Story

I applied for PUA unemployment back in April when they told us to file a regular claim first, and then again when the PUA system came online. I have heard nothing from them until two weeks ago. A rep called me and said all my answers from the updated system (the one they paid Google or whomever to create) were blank...awesome. I was advised to create another claim.
So I did that.
Yesterday I received a phone call that now makes me think that the entire department is [insert some type of profanity]. The rep called to let me know that I had answered all of the eligibility questions as 'No' ... this I know I did not do. She said because of that I would be ineligible and just to be safe, she wanted to go through them with me one more time. This is where it gets interesting. She said, "Now, think really hard okay because maybe you answered wrong last time and you meant to say 'yes'." She was coaching me to say 'Yes' so I'd become eligible. I already am eligible; I answered 'yes' to a question when I applied. So we did that charade.
After that she told me that since I made too much money (I had claimed $295) for the week we were discussing. I said how is that possible because I've got this person on the phone and I have a million things I'd like to know...she said that if you make more than the $205 you're approved for, then you receive no benefits, and then she said, "So in the future, remember that." Again, she's winking at me through the phone and secretly advising me to claim that I made less money. I know she was because her tone changed just like it did with the eligibility questions. Or I've lost my marbles.
That really frustrated me because I couldn't believe that is how this is done. That I can't make more than $205 to qualify...do they not realize that even $300 a week is not enough to live in Portland? I wasn't mad at her for this because she doesn't make the rules. I'm angry at the system. I'm upset that they have been dragging this out for months while I figure out how to pay the bills, keep my business afloat, and feed the family only to tell me "too bad for you."
After she told me I wouldn't receive benefits, I asked her about the rest of the weeks on my claim, and this is sort of when I lost my nerve and I did feel bad, a little. She said she was only seeing the one week on the claim. I explained the regular claim/PUA claim situation and she looked into it. Finally, she was able to "find" the other claim although I'm not certain she did or if just wanted to get me off the phone. She said that if you made too much you won't be paid. Got it. I tried to ask her a question about one of the earlier weeks but she gave me a boilerplate answer which definitely made me think she wasn't looking at it whatsoever. I asked her why all of the previous weeks were showing that they hadn't been processed yet even though she is calling me to discuss this past week's claim...as in, why would you call about a week in August when you haven't processed the weeks in April...she went on to say on her side it shows they've all been denied....why no one has ever mailed me anything or told me this, I have no idea.
I then asked her if she knew about the updated gross earnings situation for PUA claims. Instead of giving me information, she told me to go read the website. Geez. I then pushed her a little to explain how that works and she still pointed me the website. At this point I told her that if she didn't know the answer just be honest and say I don't know and I haven't been properly trained. I never yelled at her; I deal with people on the phone all the time and I've learned how to be forthright without raising my voice. She couldn't answer any of my questions about that. I just wanted to make sure I understood how to do it.
After that, she was done being on the phone with me. She asked if she could help me any further and I said something along the lines of "Well I just asked for help and you wouldn't, so I guess not." We ended the call.
I wanted to relay this experience with you all because I thought it might shed some light onto the ongoings of the unemployment department, especially in regards to PUA. It concerns me that I am answering questions one way when I submit it, but the department is receiving the claims differently. If you are on PUA, you may want to use the PUA message form to double-check that your answers were properly recorded.

Note: As soon as I got off the phone with her, I filled out the 'Gross Earnings Update' form online and now my claim status through the regular UI shows that the claim needs to be restarted. Super duper. I also sent a message to PUA through their site form to make sure that all of the weeks that I've claimed have the questions answered properly; I made sure in my message to mention that it's possible that the answers weren't properly recorded based on the conversation I just had.

UPDATE: A nice rep from the tax department just called me (8/26) about my claim and profusely apologized (for being so late on getting my claim processed). He said that he saw the messages I sent and needed some more information from me. He was unaware that I had spoken to someone yesterday, so he was explaining that a date was missing from my claim. I stopped him there and said I spoke to someone yesterday who asked me for that date and I gave it to her. I also explained that the other rep said the eligibility questions didn't come through properly. He said the claim was not updated. So we updated it and went through the questions again.
And then he mentioned that he wanted to get my claim processed for the weeks I filed for...I asked which weeks was he referencing because the way he said it was past tense as in I hadn't filed in a while...turns out he could only see 3 weeks and not from April through August. He then went to explain that this was not the first time he has seen this, that he suspects that some agents are accidentally deleting weeks of claims when they input new information. He also explained to me that he is very frustrated with how the state and federal government built the front- and back-end of the system for self-employed claims because 90% of them come in half filled in or transmit with deletions between the different interfaces each office within the unemployment department uses.
Anyways, I wanted to let you all know this because if you have filed for PUA, you may want to confirm with a rep what weeks they have on file. The rep is having me re-submit all of the weeks that have been deleted. Feels like one giant circle of hell.
submitted by ifyougiveagirlabook to Portland [link] [comments]


2020.08.24 01:40 HoboInYourAtticc [CALIFORNIA] SSN mix up. Advice needed

I applied for PUA back in the beginning of May and a month later received a notice of award for PUA, certification papers for March till May, and a request for identity verification. I mail in the verification forms and hold onto the certification papers until after my identity had been verified. After another month I receive an amended notice of award for PUA. I didn’t really know what to do at this point because by now the cutoff dates for how late you can mail in the certification papers have past and I never received an EDD account number. I decided to call the EDD and it turns out that another member in my household was receiving payments under my SSN. He told me that I would be put on a call back list so that they could sort out the mixed up SSN numbers and get me my unemployment money. I was also told to just mail in the certification papers and that the cutoff dates would not affect my eligibility. That was a month ago and they have not called back. I called back a week ago and they put me on another call back list. What makes no sense to me is that my family member is receiving payments under their name despite their account being registered under my SSN. I don’t know exactly what I’m supposed to do at this point as I am not able to speak to someone capable of fixing the mixed up SSN nor have I received an EDD account number to log into the UI online.
submitted by HoboInYourAtticc to Unemployment [link] [comments]


2020.08.18 18:37 RhylieD [California] Possible Overpayment?

I recently applied for unemployment about a week ago. Im a student so when I filled out the application I made sure to tell them I have not had any jobs or any income at all. This was my final year of city college and i planned on getting a summer job if covid didn’t come around. I got approved for PUA benefits receiving $167/wk. When I filed my claim I marked that I had been unemployed since my school ended and I was able to claim all the weeks from when my school ended until now. Because of that for a large majority of the weeks I also received the extra $600 bringing my weekly total up to $767 per week. After claiming all the weeks I saw i had payments totaling over $11,000. And while I was super excited and happy for that I feel that this could possibly be an overpayment. Ive tried calling the EDD multiple times to verify that the amount i received is correct but they wont answer. Any help would be appreciated because this $11,000 will be spent on bills, debt etc. and I don’t want them hunting me down after i’ve already spend a large majority of the money.
Edit: On California’s PUA FAQ page it says you can still receive PUA benefits if you do not have sufficent work history or if you are a student who works summers. That is the reason I applied https://edd.ca.gov/about_edd/coronavirus-2019/pandemic-unemployment-assistance/faqs.htm
Edit 2: I pulled this directly from the link i provided
How do I know im eligible for PUA?
You don’t have sufficient work history. This generally means you don’t have enough wages reported as an employee during the last 18 months for a regular UI claim. This could be the case if you are self-employed or an independent contractor, or if you are an employee with insufficient earnings. To qualify for PUA based on insufficient work history, you must have been recently employed, which could be satisfied if you had an offer to start working on a specific date but were unable to start due to a COVID-19-related reason.
What should I do if I dont know if i am eligible for UI or PUA?
UI Online is the EDD’s application portal for both regular UI and PUA claims. All applicants will be asked the same basic questions, including about employment history and earnings information, along with some new questions needed to determine PUA eligibility. Based on your responses as well as wage information reported to the EDD, the EDD will determine if your claim is processed as a regular UI claim or a PUA claim.
Im a full time student who usually works part time, but i am employed or have reduced hours due to COVID-19. Am I eligible for PUA benefits ?
Yes, PUA benefits are available if you work part-time and are unemployed, partially unemployed, or unable to work because of a COVID-19-related reason. Based on your past earnings, you may qualify for Unemployment Insurance (UI) benefits. Apply for UI and we will let you know if you qualify for UI or for PUA.
I am a full time student who usually works during the summer, but i was not able to get a summer job this year due to COVID-19. Am I still eligible for PUA benefits?
If you were scheduled to start or return to a summer job, but the job offer was cancelled due to COVID-19, you may be eligible for PUA. But, if you are not able to search for or get a job due to COVID-19, you do not qualify for PUA unless you are unemployed due to another COVID-19-related reason.
While I was in school I worked as a babysitter part time. I never made enough to file taxes ($10,400 in california) i only made around $7,000 a year. I have previously worked summer jobs but not during the last 2 summers because of internships and summer classes.This summer I applied to about 15-20 places 2 of which were going to hire me. The first one was a landscaping company that did give me a start date but ultimately had to let me go before that day came because of downsizing from COVID-19. The second one was in photography but because of health concerns at my house and parents being at heightened risk i decided not to take the job because of the exposure to people. Typically I would just babysit during this time but because of the pandemic obviously nobody needs a babysitter.
I contacted the EDD after this post and was able to talk to someone. I explained to them exactly what i just wrote above and they said I should be fine and able to claim PUA benefits because I was actively looking for a job but did not get one because of COVID-19.
submitted by RhylieD to Unemployment [link] [comments]


2020.08.17 23:57 darthnick96 [California] Questions about Retroactive Payments

I have a number of different questions about retroactive payments. I filed my claim on 7/3/20 and was approved on 7/11/20 but my actual claim start date (on my UI application) was 3/13/20, when I was laid off.
1) How long after approval does it take to receive retroactive payments, and do they come in the form of a lump sum or spaced out over time?
2) Do you receive the extra $600/week PUA stimulus funds with retroactive claims?
3) Do I need to do anything outside of the initial, general UI application to receive retroactive payments?
4) Do the retroactive benefits affect your total benefit amount? [I am assuming yes but am not sure so it would be nice to know this!]
5) If those benefits do in fact affect your total benefit amount, what do you need to do in order to apply for an extension of benefits?
Sorry for the long question but the EDD website is unhelpful in a way that only a government website could be.
EDIT: I was laid off directly due to COVID. I believe this makes my claim a PUA claim, however I could not verify this anywhere on EDD Online.
submitted by darthnick96 to Unemployment [link] [comments]


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